It’s freakin’ time you got what you deserve

This Tuesday I led my workshop Badass WOC Negotiators at General Assembly SF for 40+ Women of Color -- it was f*cking incredible. 

I can’t even explain to you the joy of sharing a room with these individuals who all left ready to claim space, more money and fulfilling work for themselves. So. Much. Badassery. 

We went through only two exercises:

  1. To understand four of the most common mindsets that deactivate the voices of WOC, destroying our confidence to ask for what we want and deserve

  2. To shift our belief systems and become truly confident in the idea that we are deserving of what we ask for. (the inner-work needed before a negotiation)

In the end we all left hyping each other up and most importantly, HYPING OUR DAMN SELVES UP. We don’t do enough of this and it is fuel we need to develop the skill of negotiating confidently.

Here’s why this is timely and what I shared with the group:

Remember in April when there was a bunch of news around Equal Pay Day? Well, that was White Women’s Equal Pay Day.

Y’all it’s August 22nd, Black Women’s Equal Pay Day. That is the estimatedday a Black Woman would have to work into 2019, to make how much a White Man made in 2018.

Native American Women’s Equal Equal Pay Day is September 23rd.

Latina Women’s Equal Pay Day is November 20th.

That’s almost an entire year's worth of extra work for WOCs to catch up to what White Males made at the end of MF-ing LAST YEAR. 

It’s freakin’ time WOCs got the pay, positions and recognition we deserve.

I’m here to say YES, there are racist, sexist systems working against us. AND what we can control and be more intentional about is activating our voices and negotiating.

We can obtain more tools, resources, and strategies to start self-advocating on an individual level.

Negotiation is the gift that keeps on giving. 

Those who have worked with me have been able to get their dream jobs, 20-40% pay increases in new jobs and leadership roles. 

It’s why I decided to create a group just for it: Badass WOC Negotiators.

I’ll be hosting a 30-minute interest chat for anyone curious about the group program via zoom video on Tuesday, August 27th at 12pm PST. Register to join the call here

Oh, CRAP, it's AUGUST?!

Are you the same as me thinking Oh, CRAP, it’s AUGUST? 

Did you feel as suffocated and pressured by July as I did?! 

And now August is just rolling through casually saying yeah, gurl, we’re one month closer to 2020!

This period is our mid-year review time to go over checks and balances. 

If you’re a New Year’s resolution kind of gal, time to check in to see if you hit your 2019 goals or not. During this time of reflection lets also see if:

  • you really gave a f*ck or not

  • you had good intentions but prioritized other things 🤷🏽‍♀️

  • you simply changed your mind --(your secret is safe with me )

Orrrr you totally dominated your goals and if you’re onto bigger, better things!

Either way, you’re most likely somewhere different than you were this January.

If you’ve been with me for awhile, you know I set a one-word intention at the beginning of each year. And for 2019, my intention was MASTERY.

As I check in and reflect on all the new clients I’ve enrolled and served, the growing number of workshops I’ve planned and facilitated, the companies I’ve collaborated with and the new friends and community I’ve intentionally built, I feel a higher level of mastery.

I’m celebrating all of this AND I’m also aware that there’s so much more mastery I want to connect with and bring to life. 

I know that if I stay intentional, I’ll get to where I really want to be. Even if some days I feel lost and hopeless, I know that if I keep at it with small steps, I’ll look back one day and think, wow, this wasn’t an accident. I’ll know and say "Yep, I did that!"

So, in honor of building more mastery and being intentional about the rest of 2019, I’m continuing my mission to close the leadership and wage gap for Women of Color!

I have collaborated with some amazing organizations to host my workshop, Badass WOC Negotiators--join me in SF and Oakland. For more info and tickets please see the links below!


Also, we’re still accepting applications for my group coaching program that launches in September!


Join other WOC across the U.S. in leveling up their mindset to get the pay, position, and recognition they deserve in their life and career.

Sign Me Up To Be A Badass Negotiator

So... how are you doing so far with your intentions?

If it's going well then WOOHOO!!!! —What are you doing to celebrate? What’s possible from this new point?

If not, it’s all good! Maybe consider what wasn’t really resonating about those goals? What’s still in the way? What would you like to do instead?

Badass WOC Negotiators Group Program Launch!

Y’all, now that I got your attention with the first official post of my profesh photos  👀  let me share the most exciting news: 

🎉 I’m officially launching my group coaching program on September 3, 2019: Badass WOC Negotiators. 🍾

This 8-week “bootcamp” program is virtual and remote, and it’s open for enrollment of WOCs across the entire U.S. 

👉🏽 These 8 weeks are designed to help high-achieving, busy Women of Color become BADASS negotiators, and level up their influence, pay and positions.

👉🏽Get the tools, resources and the mindset to get your next 20-30% raise (or more), get that next promotion or high ticket client, and gain influence without selling your soul.

This has been a big ol’ labor of love all summer developing a group format, outside of my 1-on-1 work. 😌

I’ll be offering an early bird discounted rate for sign ups before July 31st! So. 👏🏽Get. 👏🏽At. 👏🏽Me.

✨✨Interested in learning more? You can 1) slide into my DMs or 2) Click the link in my bio: Badass WOC Negotiators Group Coaching!✨✨

-Nadia

P.S. Sis, let me help you help yourself:

1. Download the "4 Things Badass WOC Leaders DON'T Say" Infographic. Bring awareness and practice replacing submissive statements many of us sayunconsciously, with confidence and realness

2. Book a free 30-minute Chemistry Session. Let's hop on a zoom video call together. You'll get clear on what you really want in your career and life and how you can design that in with coaching.

WFH and the guilt

Working from home for my biz hasn’t been all sunshine and 🌈s, y’all. Like anything, there’s ⬆️s and ⬇️s, but I love the benefits of the “digital nomad” lifestyle—like being able to be distracted by my cats.

I’ve been reflecting on the difficulties of WFH + the mindset and habit shifts needed to be productive and fruitful. On one hand, my commute of 3 ft has really helped me recover from a decade of MUNI delays ptsd (it’s a real thing, I swear!). 

On the other hand, the comfort of home has a lot of seduction to doing things that make me feel like I’m being “lazy.” And, the very next day, I’ll be on the other side of the spectrum and overwork and not go outside until 5pm (shame on me).

Aside from organizational habits to stay balanced and on top of my shit, here are a few thoughts around generational and cultural “un-ravelings” I’ve had to do:

Being able to work remotely👩🏽‍💻 is a privilege that I don’t take for granted. As the daughter of hard working immigrants, I witnessed my parents work hard IRL, in physically intense roles (my mom was a nurse and care home owner, my dad owned an auto repair shop).

My parents couldn’t have dreamed their daughter would be able to make a living from her computer and phone from anywhere—TBH, I didn’t know this was the direction I was going until I started coaching.

With that privilege comes a certain guilt that I recognize a lot of my POC and First Generation American clients experience:

👉🏽I feel guilty when I complain that this work is hard, “because my parents had it harder”. 

👉🏽I feel guilty when I don’t “have enough time” for working out/my partner/my friends/life outside of my work, “because my parents worked a million times more than I did AND had kids and elders to support.” 

👉🏽I felt so guilty when I left my high-paying, secure job in pursuit of meaningful work and purpose, because it felt like I was “taking all their sacrifices for granted.”

Here are a couple tips if you’re experiencing generational guilt like this, and it’s taking away from working effectively and joyfully:

✨Practice awareness and gratefulness. Every. Damn. Day. ✨

How?

  1. Write down and/or say out loud three things you are grateful for for 14 days, despite the guilt. Gratefulness is truly a practice and an art, and the power of it comes alive when you’re intentional about it.

  2. Talk to your parents or any elders and thank them for a single thing or everything they’ve done to help you self-actualize, follow your passions and live your wildest dreams.

  3. Focus on your passion and pay it forward in community. I know that building community, especially in service and with other WOCs always helps me center and connect with my why I’m working so hard in the first place, and helps me find ways I can use my privilege to make a positive impact.

Be aware of when this guilt is present and isn’t serving your work or your emotional well being. Practice gratefulness to re-center and move forward in action.

What you should do

There’s been a lot of “should’s” flying around my client conversations lately.

“UGH! I should know better by now. I do know better, and I’m not doing what I should be doing.

“I know I should be more understanding because he’s going through some hard life stuff, but my manager really pissed me off today."

“I shouldn’t be surprised I got rejected, I’m under qualified for this role anyway.”

“I shouldn’t be so heartbroken, this isn’t my first break up and I should know how to be happy by myself by now."

Bull shit.

Listen, we as humans really shit on ourselves hard and love to play the self-blame game on not being a perfect, understanding, level-headed, balanced and successful person at all times.

My ears burn every time I hear someone criticize themselves with a “should.”

Here’s what I know: You’ve got it all wrong, sis.

Every time you’re thinking you should do something and feeling that guilt or self-hate, there’s a sneaky little saboteur voice, an inner critic or a thinking trap inside of you. It's influencing to only feel bad about a "should" story you believe is real, and it hold you back from acting in a true and clear way.

Instead, you can acknowledge that you know better, and it’s hard to distance yourself from making the same habitual mistakes over and over again.

You can give yourself permission to understand your boss is going through a hard time AND be pissed at something he said or did to you today.

You can pat yourself on the back for going after the job of your dreams, even if you didn't get it. Then start getting curious on what you can do differently as you keep trying. (Also, if you’re going for a job you’re not under qualified for, you’re not aiming high enough, IMO).

You can give space to experience the heartbreak for what it is, as messy and hard as it is. You can accept that you can be happy on your own and yearn to fill that desire to find a partner you can love and be loved by.

There are infinite new possibilities for you when you shift away from you "should" expectation.

Here’s a tip to start noticing if you’re shaping yourself: For the next 7 days starting keeping a “should” tally.

Seriously, how many times are you thinking or saying out loud “I should this” and “I should that” in a negative way that does you no service.

Be curious and don’t hold any judgements. At the end, see how many should’s you collect.

Once you start that self-awareness train, you won’t be able to stop and really start seeing it everywhere in others and yourself.

That’s the start to distancing yourself from this habit we ALL have: just notice.

-Nadia

P.S. Sis, let me help you help yourself:

1. Download the "4 Things Badass WOC Leaders DON'T Say" Infographic. Bring awareness and practice replacing submissive statements many of us sayunconsciously, with confidence and realness

2. Book a free 30-minute Chemistry Session. Let's hop on a zoom video call together. You'll get clear on what you really want in your career and life and how you can design that in with coaching.

Making room for sadness

Warning, this post has some heavy shit in it (as if the title didn’t give that off).

In a single week, I found out one of my cousins and a good friend from high school passed away. These tragedies and losses happened only a few days apart from each other and shook my home community hard.

I’m no stranger to death, grieving, healing and celebrating the beautiful life that was once a part of my world. I grew up in a care home my mom ran, and she was licensed for hospice care. This was also the home where my dad passed after we found out he had terminal cancer and only a few months left.

Also, I have a HUGE Filipino family (my mom had 9 brothers and sisters and my dad had 10!). So, I’ve grown used to saying “with big families, there’s a lot of life, a lot of loss and a whoooole lot of love.”

This post isn’t about my resilience to death, but sharing with you something I’m ashamed of:

I overcommitted to great opportunities this month to do contracted work for great change-making organizations and initiatives I’m excited about. My overcommitments are so big, that I’ve barely had time to do biz dev and admin work for my private practice and end of year goals.

After my initial reactions of shock, extreme sadness and even a small breakdown after finding out about my cousin, my first shitty thought was if the funeral service falls on X day when I have the workshop with X company, what will I do? Then I immediately felt like the worst person in the universe. Pause and zoom in here.

I held onto the immense guilt I felt because my mind went immediately to business as usual, and thought my schedule was more important. I held onto that guilt as I tried to focus on the tasks I committed to and just get through it.

We do this all the time in our busy, chaotic lives.

How many times have you had your schedule so packed you had no time to be present in what you were actually doing?

How many times have you had so much shit to do, the soonest you could schedule a hangout with your friends you love and miss so much, was two to three weeks out?

How many times have you prioritized work that gives you money over creative projects for your soul, random activities just for fun or simply adding play into your life?

How many times have you been so busy, you ignored any sort of stress, overwhelm, sadness, anger or frustration, because you had to do only do the logical and responsible things?

You wish for more time in the day, but what you really need to do is learn how to slow down, pay attention to what you truly value most and make room to experience life.

Here’s what happened when I finally chose to pause work and slow down for just 30 minutes.

I closed all my tabs and started deep breathing with my eyes closed.

And, suddenly, the tears came.

Suddenly, I was in the depths of my sadness that I didn’t want to release because my belief was if I let this loose, I won’t be functioning, I won’t get my work done.

Here are the lessons I got from that exploration:

  • Life is so finite and precious

  • Work is fulfilling AND I don’t want to be a slave to it

  • I want to be able to control my work schedule, not for it to control me

  • What is my motivation for overcommitting to the point I’m imbalanced and not doing as many fun things outside of my business?

  • I have a self-sabotaging belief/voice in my head that I need to make more money in order to be happier (I’m always actively working to distance myself from this voice)

  • I want to spend more time with my family and friends, and that’s part of the positive impact I want to make in this world--by being fully present, instead of letting my mind wander to work

  • This journey of starting my own business was meant to support me in shaping the joyful lifestyle I envisioned

  • Being joyful to me isn’t just feeling good, it’s allowing myself to experience the full range of being a human being. That includes experiencing emotions like anger, loss and sadness as a whole. That also includes life experiences outside of what goes on a resume or LinkedIn.

After the 30 minutes, I splashed water on my face, stretched upward and got back to work.

Making room for sadness didn’t distract me. It didn’t break my workflows or my life schedule, but NOT making room for it to breathe and expand did.

I know that was heavy, but this is what happens to us in real life.

Being present and allowing these experiences to be is a huge part of my work with my clients, who have equally chaotic, busy thoughts, inner critics and goal-getting lives.

What is one thing you can make room for soon?

What’s one thing you can do to create the lifestyle you really want to have?

-Nadia

I'm upset and I'm busy

I’m upset.

This post is for the pissed off AND busy WOCs.

Yesterday, I was working on an agenda for a new workshop with one of my incredible friends, Christine Wang. We’re both coaches and advocates for women empowerment and racial justice work.

Halfway through our brainstorming session, in the middle of a cafe in San Francisco, Christine got a news notification that the Alabama Governor signed the most restrictive abortion band in all 50 States. Doctors are almost 100% outlawed from performing the procedure, with no exception for pregnancies as a result from rape or incest.

We were silent. We were outraged. And, we had more work to complete together in the next hour.

We shared our feelings and individual knowledge on the legal and social aspects of this law passing. I shared how I cried uncontrollably the day after the last presidential elections: when I woke up on my pillow, waiting for the MUNI to work, at my desk, in a conference room, over my chow mein at lunch and once more at home.

After we took deep breaths, we validated why our work to help WOCs shift from surviving to thriving was important, and we hugged in the kind of hug you give to someone you know sees you and is in complete solidarity with you. Then, we continued to focus and work on our exciting workshop to help uplift Asian leaders in technology and social impact work.

On my drive home, I started drifting to flashbacks when I was a Senior Account Manager in my tech startup, coming into office to close deals and hit my quota.

For awhile, I was the only WOC on my team, and there were some days, my heart cried over another black man or woman getting shot and killed by police. Black Lives Matter was on the rise, and on the inside I was devastated over the rising political climate, felt isolated and alone. On the outside, it was business as usual. My executive team, my manager and my team never took a stance nor did they even acknowledge these things, even if we saw multiple marches on Market Street of San Francisco.

Isolated. Lonely. Angry. Sad. Then back to business as usual.

Despite the shitty news, it felt so good to know yesterday that I chose a path where I can make an impact for underrepresented people through my coaching practice. It felt so good to know I’m building community and sisterhood with other changemakers like Christine.

I’m sharing this because I know some, if not all of my clients and readers live busy, on-the-go lives and are most likely shook, too. I’m sharing this because many of the women I work with are the only one in their companies or teams like I was--the only Person of Color or the only Woman, and might not have someone to open up to or feel with them.

If you’re reading this, I see you. I’m here with you and sending you a virtual hug before you have to get back to it. I want to remind you to find time to process and heal. Take a pause in your busy day and in your goals, to process the lessons from upset, and take care of your emotional and mental well being.

Don’t hesitate to hit reply if you need a witness, Sis.

In solidarity and still upset,

Nadia


P.S.

  1. I’ll be announcing some events on my speaking page soon. If you’d like to have me do a lunch and learn or workshop at your office, hit reply and let’s chat.

  2. To build sisterhood and help WOCs in tech go from surviving to thriving, I’m launching a Group Coaching program this Summer! Level up your work relationships, influence AND money in 10 weeks. Join the waitlist for info on registration here.

Why hearing "NO!" is the best thing for you right now

Raise your hands if you ever stopped yourself from going for a role, promotion or salary increase because you were scared of hearing “NO”?

🙆🏾‍♀️ Both my hands are raised, gurl.

In essence, that means we’re scared of conflict, difficult conversations and negotiating our needs.

Watch this video to get more insight on why we’re so terrified of NO and tips on why you should start normalizing NO and get excited to hear it.

 
 

I want to tell you a secret I tell most of my clients:

“NO” is not the END of a negotiation/conversation for getting what you want, “NO” is the START of the negotiation/conversation to get what you want.

I didn’t realize how strong my aversion to being told no was until I started working in technology sales. Cold calling strangers and CEOS to buy your software service will get you used to “no” reeeeeaaaaal fast.

Here are a few things that I didn’t realize I “inherited” as an Asian American daughter of immigrants, that added to my desire to avoid the “NO” in my career:

  • Deep rooted submissive habits that were seemingly harmless, like not talking back to elders, teachers and superiors

  • Being told to not push for more because I should be grateful for the chance/the opportunity/having my foot in the door

  • Accepting being told “no” when I wanted too much or was too ambitious in my childhood

I was taught that “NO” was the final word and to STFU. End of story.

I realized I never learned the power of embracing NO. I never learned the power of going beyond the NO, being relentless to go after what I really wanted, to have difficult conversations like a pro, to facilitate collaboration and inspire people to work with me so we could both get what we wanted.

All that to say, I never learned the value of negotiation.

This is one of my favorite leadership skills I’d love to teach all Women of Color to embrace.

Negotiations was how I made a shit ton of money as an account manager through closing big deals, negotiating two 20%+ increase in salaries and really navigating how I could effectively make the biggest impact at work and get recognition for it.

Teaching WoCs how to level up through negotiations is how I live my mission to close the leadership gap AND the wage gap, one badass Women of Color leader at a time.

-Nadia

P.S. Lookin' to level up your work relationships, influence and money? I can help you help yourself:

1. Sign up for a free 30-minute Chemistry Session TODAY!


2. This Summer I'll be launching a 10-week group coaching bootcamp, to help busy WOCs in Tech become BADASS negotiators. Grow your confidence, value and sisterhood. Contact me here for more info and to join the waitlist.

Vision: WTF are you doing this all for? 🤔

You ever look up in the middle of your hard work and hustle and think, “WTF am I doing this all for again!?”

Obvious answers are:

  • A paycheck to pay rent, bills and debt (duh, Nadia)

  • I gotta save for that next vacation! Flights, Airbnbs and  drinks on the beach aren’t don’t pay for itself!

  • Working to put a down payment on a house (good for you!)

  • Because I love my job! Even if it’s engulfing my entire life

Yeah, I get that we all gotta eat, but I’m not talking about the surface level obvious.

All my clients have come to me during these WTF am I doing this all for again moments in their career.

They come to me when they’re experiencing problems with work relationship dynamics, overwhelm, burnout, a road block or when “there shouldn’t be anything wrong, because I have it good and I’m so lucky for my financial and professional success, but something’s off”

What those moments are really telling us are:

  • “I’m not living my purpose right now.”

  • “I’m not showing up as my best self right now.”

  • “I’m not making the impact I know I could be making right now.”

They’ve lost the connection with their natural creativity, imagination and intuition, because they’re too damn busy or lost in the daily grind.

This prevents them from really connecting to their Big Vision of how they want to show up in their work and in the world, and to brainstorm what else is possible.

In these times, to clear out the “WTF fog” I help my clients re-learn and practice one of my favorite leadership skills: Visioning.

Here’s why you want to get good at Visioning:

you can reverse engineer from that Vision and start working with purpose, showing up powerfully as yourself and creating the impact you really want to make today.

This video was taken a couple days ago and crudely edited by moi, when I was smiling at my second time at Ocean Beach in the same day, since it was a rare sunny day in SF.

Whether you’re a business badass or a 9-5er you can start practicing your creating your Vision today, Sis.

Stop 🛑 asking yourself “WTF AM I DOING HERE?!”

Instead, ask more effective questions to take your power back in your current situation!

Like…

What do I really want?

What shifts do I have to make to achieve this?

How can I get a little bit closer to this TODAY?

And, lastly...how BADLY do you want it?

You have to want it bad, because it’s 👏🏾 hard 👏🏾 work 👏🏾.

But, if you’re my kind of people (which I suspect you are because you’re here), we DGAF about hard work if we know we’re “in step” towards living that delicious Vision.

 
 

With gratitude,

Nadia

P.S. Sis, let me help you help yourself:

Book a free 30-minute Chemistry Session with me! We’ll get hella clear on your Vision and what’s possible if we work together.

If you’re in The Bay, catch my next meetup for WoC Leaders--Sisters Who Lead! There’s still 3 seats left for next Monday, April 29th! We’ll be round table discussing Self-Advocacy as a WoC in the workplace!

Stop Avoiding Pain

 
Photo by  Francesco Ungaro  from  Pexels

Photo by Francesco Ungaro from Pexels

 

It drives me crazy when my cats suddenly get scared by a slight movement I make or a random shadow on the wall. The second they feel fear, they jump five feet high into the air and run away to hide and survive another day.

On the other hand, I freakin’ love when they freeze after seeing something unfamiliar, like another random shadow on the wall, and slowly stalk over in curiosity. They cautiously start pawing at the thing, determining if it’s a threat or not. Their brave and playful investigation to make sure they’re safe before their next 10-hour nap is adorable.

Humans have a mix of the fight or flight reactions in us, too.

The unique thing about us is that our survival instincts activate at seemingly harmless environments and situations. Examples are when doing a presentation in front of really important people, while deciding to make a career change or taking a dance class.

These instincts don’t just protect us from physical danger, they save us from the possibility of experiencing humiliation, rejection and shame.

Why? Because that shit SUCKS. These experiences sometimes hurts so bad we want to crawl under a rock and never come back. So, logically, we want to protect ourselves.

from childhood to adulthood, We build defense mechanisms to avoid pain all the time.

Cats do it, too. That’s why they love high vantage points to view their surroundings, or eat with their backs against a wall. It creates a sense of safety because they know no one can sneak up on them when they’re most vulnerable.

Humans, bless our souls, also try to see and know everything to avoid pain. We do things like overthink, stress and project our fears and worries onto others, in hopes we’ll find the perfect resolution to our problems.

We write lists of all the pros and cons to determine if our lovers are “the one” and if we should marry them, instead of having deep and meaningful conversations with them.

We stay silent, play small and don’t ask for what we want, because it’s uncomfortable to engage in difficult conversations with people we have to see everyday.

We make spreadsheets on if we should invest time, money and energy into a new career, and hope the data we gather will pave a clear path to a happier work life.

As a Woman of Color and a coach for Women of Color, I know we typically work to protect ourselves from things like rejection, failure and shame THRICE as much as non-WOCs.

Does any of this sound familiar? If it doesn’t, TELL ME YOUR SECRETS NOW!

Actually, here’s a secret: It’s not just you. Everybody does this in some way, shape or form.

I mean, I’m the BIGGEST overthinking, word-vomit-projector of all my worries there is. It’s my natural survival instinct thinking talking nonstop about it to my loved ones is being proactive, or I’m unconsciously hoping someone I tell will save me.

And, here’s the point:

You will never reach your full potential if you allow your defense mechanisms to define how you show up in the world.

Here’s some hope: You can change. You can build your awareness muscles to recognize when your natural survival instincts are overcorrecting and start to hold you back.

Seriously. It’s what I help my clients with everyday. By building their awareness muscles and acting, they have achieved incredible things they previously thought were impossible like:

  • One got the leadership role she wanted and hired a team of her own, and strives to be the thoughtful, confident and balanced boss she never had

  • Another negotiated for a 23% raise like a badass, when she was terrified of the dreaded “no” or appearing “ungrateful”

  • Another finally stood up to her gaslighting, mean-spirited boss and spoke her mind, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. She’s now addicted to using her voice

They didn’t stop being scared to accomplish these things. They stopped jumping five feet high and stopped living in their hiding places.

Imagine, learning how to turn up the play and curiosity in your life.

Imagine being able to slow down and pausing to explore the things that scare or challenge you most.

Imagine facing the unknown with a smile on your face and understanding the value of risk taking.

Imagine failing and laughing, ready to move forward.

It’s possible for you, too.

(P.S. Interested in support to shift away from survival mode all the time and making some big ol’ changes in your life? I got you, girl. Sign up for a free Clarity Session with me.)

The Smell of Change

Do you smell that???

It smells different...new...like fresh cut grass…

..like warm laundry after the dryer!

...like baked cookies straight outta the oven!

That’s the sweet, sweet smell of change.

As a Leadership Coach, change is everywhere around me. In fact, it’s my job to actively advocate and exercise my ability to change.

What does that mean?

Well, my clients don’t enter into a coaching relationship to stay in their current status quo.

They want change so badly, nay, they need change so badly, they’re ready to invest in powerful support to help them do things they’ve never done before.

To help them do that, I have to be willing do the same, because I can only take my clients deeper than I have gone and am willing to go.

As a result of building the “muscle” and tolerance to change, I have lived an extraordinary life thus far, am excited to take risks that energize me and continue to advance in my fulfillment in helping Women of Color grow their leadership.

Here are some of the incredible changes some of my clients made in 2019 so far:

  • One took the leap to leave her soul-crushing office job, and start the freelancing business of her dreams

  • Another was finally promoted into a leadership role, with an opportunity to hire and run her own team

  • Two are starting new jobs at a 20%+ increase in pay, and a clear path for career growth that energizes them

  • Two are doing the hard and often uncomfortable work to heal their relationships with their parents, as adult children

The common theme between all of these dope, incredible people?

They were ALL afraid of change.

They ALL believed that achieving these things were next to impossible.

They were ALL afraid of failure, rejection and pain.

And, they ALL did the work.

What’s the work? To be brave. To change from the inside out and take care of any internal blockers that stopped them from even moving forward. To take the first steps in resonant action, despite all their fears and worries. To learn how to handle failure.

To keep doing the work over and over again.

Now, here’s a secret: The willingness and ability to change your life starts as a choice and becomes a series of actions.

You can’t just say, “I want the lawn to be cut, I want my laundry to be done and I want freshly baked cookies in my mouth, universe!” and expect it to magically get done that second (trust me, I’ve asked the universe for a million dollars a million times and it still hasn’t delivered).

The reality is if you don’t outsource that work (I mean, it is 2019, I’m sure y’all can just download an app to do a lot of this on-demand), you have to get out the lawn mower, mow that lawn and dispose of the freshly cut grass.

You have to get up, sort through your stinky laundry, do the wash, wait, load the dryer, wait, fold the clothes and put them away.

You have to buy the ingredients or “cheat” with some pre-made cookie dough and make those MF-ing cookies!

Now, a lifelong dream like opening the sustainable fashion line bubbling inside of you, starting a blog that will change lives or reaching a six-figure salary sounds like a lot more work -- because it is. It’s much more work than making cookies.

But, before you preemptively opt out of the work to chase those big, juicy goals of yours, I encourage you to consider:

  • What changes do I want in my life?

  • What’s stopping me from changing the thing?

  • What would happen if I don’t change a damn thing?

  • Lastly, what support do I have?

Often times, even if you make the choice, it’s hard to start when you feel like you’re alone on this journey of change.

My clients know the power of asking for help. As growing leaders, they’re high performing and successful on their own, and understand how much more powerful and effective they are when they’re supported.

Support can look like many things: your friends, familia and colleagues, or claiming a mentor who has done what you want to do, or investing in a coach to experience the unique magic of having an observer with a bird’s eye view of your strengths, blind spots and new options for you to choose from.

So, here are some quick take aways to have the sweet, sweet smell of change as your new perfume:

  1. Make the choice

  2. Practice courage

  3. Do the work

  4. Repeat!

...and may be celebrate your start with some fresh, warm cookies! (Actually, definitely celebrate with some fresh, warm cookies!)

-Nadia

P.S. Interested in support on making some big ol’ changes in your life? I got you, girl. Sign up for a free Clarity Session with me.